How to Receive a Rebuke

The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. - Proverbs 15:31-32

Three weeks ago we looked at How to Confront Sin in our brothers and sisters. But what happens if you're on the other side of the table? How can we be humble people who are willing to receive a rebuke?

The Scripture are replete with exhortations to have a humble heart that listens to correction:

• Psalm 141:5 Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. Yet my prayer is continually against their evil deeds.
• Proverbs 9:8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
• Proverbs 9:9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
• Proverbs 10:17 Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.
• Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. 
• Proverbs 13:18 Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.
• Ecclesiastes 7:5 It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools.
• Revelation 3:19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.

Honor and life and MORE wisdom come to those who are willing to receive rebuke and correction. Poverty, disgrace, and stupidity are waiting for those who will not listen. One of the most important character traits of a growing Christian is teachability. But let's be honest, receiving a rebuke is HARD. When a close friend says, "I have something I want to talk with you about..." we instinctively cringe and brace for impact. It's just so hard to be wrong! It feels exposing and shameful.

How can we cultivate a willingness to receive a rebuke? Here are some practical steps:

• Read the Bible: Learn God's character and what He calls you to. Learn what His will is and how to be holy and acceptable (Romans 12:1-2). This will soften your heart, like a plow digging up the hard earth to be ready to receive the life of the seed. 
• Pray: Pray for God to grow you, pray for humility, pray for a teachable heart, pray for hatred of your sin, pray for a listening ear, pray for brothers and sisters that will love you enough to rebuke you, pray for God to show you your sin and convict you. Also, Pray for Discipline.
• Get Brothers: Surround yourself with godly mature brothers and sisters. Open your life to them. Live regular life together, basically: be deeply involved in a local church. If possible even get Christian roommates who can help you grow. We need Brothers in Arms to help us in the fight, and bring these life-giving rebukes to us. 
• ASK people how you can grow: It's not just enough to HAVE brothers in our life, we need to make use of them! Ask if you've sinned against them. Ask them what they are seeing in your life. Invite correction. Pursue and invite rebuke from wise godly people who know you and know the Scripture. Develop a hungriness for it. One of the fastest ways to grow in sanctification and Christian maturity is to pray for God to show you your sin, and then ask some close brothers where you need to grow. And then listen to their answer and apply it! 

And when we receive the actual rebuke, how can we respond in that situation? 

• Humbly listen: When someone rebukes you, LISTEN. Yeah they may get some things wrong, they may be misunderstanding you. But give them the benefit of the doubt. What can you hear and agree with? What are they saying that is true? How can you RECEIVE what they're saying with a humble and listening ear? Guard against your first response being defensiveness in arguing against their observation and challenge. Try to make the FIRST thing out of your mouth something like, "Thanks for sharing that with me, I'd like to grow."
• Remember and BELIEVE the Gospel!: Hearing rebuke is HARD. But if we think we have to change all on our own power, rebuke is destructive and renders us so weighed down with guilt and heavy burdens that we are immobilized. Yes, you have sinned. But God's grace is for sinners! God in His grace has showed you an area to grow, but He provides the blood of His Son to cover and heal your disease. Use this rebuke as a fresh opportunity to remember the forgiveness that is yours in Christ, and rejoice that God is continuing to give LIFE to you. 
• Apply and change: Listening to the rebuke and receiving it has more to do with our application than just merely HEARING out the person speaking to us. If we hear correction but don't actually CHANGE, we are like the foolish man who looks in the mirror and forgets what he looks like (James 1:22-25). Figure out what practical next steps of repentance you can be taking, and DO IT. Enlist the help of brothers for accountability if necessary. 

May God give you a humble heart to receive rebuke!
The Relentless Fight

How to Confront Sin

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head;
let my head not refuse it. Psalm 141:5

The Christian life is a call to believe the gospel and fight our sin. One significant problem we face is our own blindness to our sin. We love our sin, and because it is so ingrained in our lives we often miss it on the radar, and it continues to thrive unchallenged. This is why God has saved a bunch of us! We sharpen one another "as iron sharpens iron" (Proverbs 27:17) and help one another grow by pointing out the sin we must put to death. But HOW do we do this? And when? Who do we confront?

The Scripture has much to say on confrontation and rebuke:

• Matthew 7:3-5 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Notice that Jesus doesn't say to do nothing about the speck, but rather to first take out your own log SO THAT you can clearly see and help your brother.)
• Matthew 18:15  If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
• Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
• James 5:19-20 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. (Notice that God is using your rebuke to rescue your brother from not only the current sin but also from all the others that would have grown with it. Sin never is stagnant, it's always growing and adding to itself!)
• Luke 17:3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him
• 1 Timothy 5:20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.

And the Scripture goes on to speak of how the wise man loves and receives rebuke, correction, & reproof:

• Proverbs 9:8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
• Proverbs 10:17 Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.
• Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. 
• Proverbs 13:18 Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.
• Proverbs 15:31 The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.

God will discipline us for our sin because He is a loving Father. And we should PRAY for discipline and receive it. Another resource that God provides for us is brothers and sisters in Christ. We need to both BE and HAVE brothers in arms who will help us in the fight. But how practically do we confront sin in others? Let's look at Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How: 

• Who: We only confront believers in Christ, we don't confront unbelievers over specific sins but rather call them to overall conversion! A nonchristian isn't called to fight their sin, they're called first to CONVERSION. John Owen writes, "I say, then, mortification is not the present business of unregenerate men. God calls them not to it as yet; conversion is their work, -- the conversion of the whole soul, -- not the mortification of this or that particular lust...." and again, "Let men know it is their duty, but in its proper place; I take not men from mortification, but put them upon conversion. He that shall call a man from mending a hole in the wall of his house, to quench a fire that is consuming the whole building, is not his enemy." (from Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers) Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 that we don't judge unbelievers. We only confront & discipline those inside the church. 
• What: We confront SIN, not the violation of our personal preferences. And we define sin according to the clear teaching of Scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness". So we should have a Scripture text that we are pointing to when we confront our brother in his sin. For anger, perhaps Ephesians 4:26, for lust perhaps Matthew 5:27-30. Use biblical language (anger, idolatry, selfishness), not cultural buzzwords (annoyed, just relaxing, me-time). 
• When: You could confront right in the moment, but perhaps it would be wise to talk with the brother later. "Strike while the iron is cold", when the anger isn't at it's highest point, or when the conflict cools down in a few hours. Chances are your brother will hear you better when there's some time distance from the event. 
• Where: Matthew 18 says to first confront your brother in private, one on one. We don't confront publicly until much later when the brother is consistently unrepentant. Consider taking him out for coffee just the two of you. Or maybe if you're at an event, take them to the side out of earshot. 
• Why: A very important question! Why are we confronting? Again Matthew 18 says we are trying to WIN our brother, and Galatians 6 says for the purpose of restoration. We confront out of love and concern for their spiritual safety. We long for them to grow and mature into the fullness of Christ! And we are called to kill our sin (Romans 8:13, Colossians 3:5) not ignore it and let it grow and kill us (James 1:15). 
• How: How does the conversation itself go? We must have love govern all our words (1 Corinthians 13). We must be quick to listen (James 1:19). We must exercise gentleness and not be harsh (Galatians 6:1). We must be humble and not consider ourselves better than our sinning brother (Matthew 7:1-5, 1 Corinthians 10:12). We must PRAY at all times: before, during, and after (1 John 5:16, James 5:16). 

Practically, this might be the progression: You see a sin in a brother or sister. Pray for God's mercy & wisdom. Consider & evaluate your own heart. Pray for insight & humility. Ask, "What is the real issue to address?" Search the Scriptures and identify a few that you can share. Pray for God's leading. Speak face to face privately, praying during the conversation that God would use your words. Share your observation, share the Scripture, graciously call them to repentance. Pray with them. After the conversation, walk with them in help, encouragement, prayer, and maybe some measure of accountability. Continue to pray for God to grow them.

We often shy away from rebuke, because we are asking "What is the risk for bringing this up?" We fear losing the relationship, being judgmental, or offending our friend. And that is a good question to consider! There IS a risk when we rebuke and confront sin in others. But we should also ask, "What is the risk if I DON'T bring this up?" Sin is dangerous. And your brother is in DANGER if this sin continues unchecked and unchallenged. Love means you confront and rescue your brother from the clutches of this sin. So you step out in faith, and trust 2 Timothy 2:24-26, believing that maybe God will use your words to bring repentance. 

And finally, when God blesses your rebuke, and your brother repents.... rejoice! There should be great excitement and joy! Support him and be glad with him. Praise the Holy Spirit for His powerful work of granting life and freedom. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 7:8-9, "For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us."

Jesus says it best in Revelation 3:19, "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent."

Attack the Base

"You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." - Jesus, from Matthew 12:34

Typically we tend to think of our sinful actions as just that: bad behavior. The solution then seems pretty simple: STOP it. But the Scripture provides unique resources in our fight against sin. As we read the Word, we find it presents the idea of the "heart".

Our culture says to "follow your heart", but the Bible objects. Jeremiah writes in 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Rather, we need to be guarding our heart and watching out for danger in it. Proverbs 4:23 warns, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

What is the heart? It's not just what we feel. It's not just our romantic dreams. The Bible defines the "heart" as the seat of the affections and the will. The heart is the driver of the person, and from the heart flows our behavior and actions. Consider the words of Jesus in Mark 7:20-23, "What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." The Scripture further elaborates and corrects our thinking on the source of our sin, in James 4:1-3, "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."

Usually porn or cutting or drugs or alcohol or sinful eating are just SYMPTOMS of a deeper problem. Using these substances is usually a means of anesthetizing whatever deeper pain and difficulty is being experienced. If you can figure out what that pain is, and find your ultimate comfort in Jesus, the behavioral escapism might just go away. See, the problem is not just the BEHAVIOR, you need to get below the surface and focus on the heart. The heart is the source and working on the behaviors without addressing the heart is like mopping up water from a running faucet. You have turn off the faucet first! So to make real progress on our sin, we have to go deeper and address the heart. To put it in military terms, we need to "Attack the Base" instead of merely fighting on the battle front with the endless waves of enemies. In real-time-strategy video games, if you destroy the enemy base with the unit producing structures, victory is inevitable.

But wait! Before you rush off in your attack, one important clarification is needed: Knowing the source of your sin is useless unless you have the power to destroy the source. In ourselves, we have no weapon to blow up the home base of our sinful hearts. It's NOT good news that the source of our sin is OURSELVES. That's even worse! What we need is a heart transplant. We desperately need to be transformed from the inside out! Here's the good news: This is PRECISELY what the Gospel of Jesus Christ offers us. God promises in Ezekiel 36:26-27, "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules." At the moment of the new birth  (John 3:3-8), God begins an inside-out work of change.

Therefore only the regenerated Christian can begin to fight the heart, because of the nuclear weapon of the gospel. Practically, here are a few steps to addressing the heart:

• Realize you're rejecting God's comfort: Jeremiah 2:12-13 says, "Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the LORD, for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." Our sin is not an isolated behavior without consequences. Ultimately it's a heart decision of turning AWAY from the Lord as our comfort and satisfaction, and turning to our favorite sin. 
• Repent Deeper: You may have only been repenting of the behavior. When we realize that the behavior is flowing out of a bad & sinful HEART, it necessitates a much deeper repentance. Instead of saying "God, please forgive me for looking at porn" we're instead saying, "God, my heart is filled with lust and selfishness, and last night it bore the fruit of looking at porn. God please forgive me for my lustful heart!" And then remember & believe the gospel in a deeper way. Rejoice! God is changing your heart! 
• Figure out what the sin is promising: Our sin is making a promise of what it offers. Perhaps cutting offers release. Porn offers pleasure amidst our loneliness. Alcohol offers distraction from the worries in our lives. By unearthing the false promise, we can replace it with TRUE promises from God. The key is to ask, "What's the lie?"
• Believe that Jesus is BETTER: Allow the sin & Jesus to go toe-to-toe in a fight for who is greater. Is sin offering comfort? Jesus' comfort is BETTER. Is Sin offering pleasure? Jesus' pleasure is BETTER. To learn more, read the blog post: Jesus is Better.
• Cultivate a superior satisfaction in Christ: We can't merely believe that Jesus is better. We have to put it into practice. We have to cultivate an affection for Him through reading the Word, singing, and talking with Him in prayer. To learn more, read the blog post: The Counter-Attack.

May God help you to repent and grow, not just in your behavior, but from the deepest places of your heart.

Attack the Base,
The Relentless Fight

The Counter-Attack

You've fought hard against sin & temptation. You've even won a few battles. But this onslaught keeps on coming, and you're getting tired defending off these attacks. Something has to change. It's time to go on the offensive.

A good offense might be better than a continual defense in the fight against sin. Better to keep the enemy so busy and weary from your constant barrage that they have no time to attack. In fact, let's say you successfully defend against all the temptations. Does this mean you've grown in holiness and glorifying Christ? Not necessarily. Unless we are worshiping Jesus and exalting Him, it doesn't matter if we are sinning "less" in the sins of commission. Behavioral purity without affection for Jesus is worthless. That's no better than the Pharisees to whom Jesus said, "Hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence." 

What is this offensive counter-attack? It's fighting FOR joy in Christ. It's the second part of repentance: turning FROM the fun of sin TO the better delight of Christ. It's cultivating a superior satisfaction in Jesus so that the allure of sin decreases in its attractiveness. Proverbs 27:7 says it well, "One who is full loathes honey, but to one who is hungry everything bitter is sweet." Consider: Who wants to eat a stale granola bar when they just finished a meal at Shady Maple Smorgasbord? Who wants to watch a dumb cat video at the top of Mount Everest? Who would pull out their phone to check the latest celebrity gossip on Twitter at their own wedding reception? See, when we are satisfied with great pleasures, we aren't even tempted by small pleasures. The goal is to glut yourself on Christ so you're always satisfied. 

The Scriptures give us several strong arrows in this counter-attack. Use these weapons to consider Christ as BETTER:

• Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 
• Psalm 84:10 For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. 
• Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
• Hebrews 11:24-26 By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. 

How do we do this? Primarily by meditating on the beauty of Christ, found most clearly in YOUR rescue through the gospel of redemption. Here are several practical applications: 

• Read the Bible: Commit to a time, a place, and a reading plan. Consume large quantities of Scripture. Carefully pick through passages in depth. Search out truth that will make your heart sing. 
• Worship Jesus through song: Worship corporately with large groups of other Christians. Worship in small groups. Worship by yourself. Saturate your mind and heart with songs of His grace. Songs for the Cross-Centered Life is a good place to start. 
• Talk with Him often through prayer: How are you going to grow in affection for Christ if you aren't talking with Him every day? Do people fall in love by ignoring each other? Speak with Him. Share your thoughts, fears, dreams, ideas. Ask Him for help, for comfort, for encouragement, for forgiveness. Pray for others in their struggles. Pray relentlessly.
• Read solid Christian books:  Learn satisfying truths about Jesus through solid books. Some great ones to get you started: The Glory of Christ by John Owen, Who is Jesus? by Greg Gilbert, and When I Don't Desire God by John Piper (see book review on TRF)
• Biblical preaching: Be convicted, challenged, encouraged by passionate sermons about Jesus. Here are a few to get you started: Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (part 2) by John Piper, and Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ (conference sessions) also by John Piper. 
• Local Church: Be deeply involved in a local community of believers (church) who will help you in all these things (Bible, worship, preaching) and keep you accountable if you slack. If you're not involved in a church, do you really think you can go it alone? 

Don't be discouraged if you aren't feeling deeply satisfied right away. Cultivating affection for Christ is kinda like exercise. It takes some time to see the results. Keep at it! Endure. This is worth it. Keep pressing in to Jesus and wait for Him to bring the joy.

Retaliate,
The Relentless Fight. 

The Battles and The War

In 1944 Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese 2nd lieutenant, was given the command to hold ground and fight against the Allies on Lubang Island in the Philippines. He didn't realize that the Japanese surrendered to the Allies just a year later, and he continued to fight for THIRTY YEARS. Finally in 1974 his commanding officer (Major Yoshimi Taniguchi, who after the war had become a bookseller) personally traveled to the island to give him formal orders of surrender.

How many of us, in our fight for sin, are like Hiroo Onoda, thinking that the war is still happening, and we must fight for our lives? How many times do we feel alone in the fight, and our strength is failing? Do you feel like you're on the losing side? Do you feel like you're just a few failures away from total defeat and surrender?

For Hiroo Onoda, he was fighting losing battles, because for the Japanese, the war had already been lost. Although his heroism and courage were remarkable (check out his book, No Surrender) ultimately his small battles did not change the fact that World War 2 was over. Japan had lost. For the Christian though, our reality is the opposite. No matter how our little battles go, we have the confidence that Satan, sin, and death have been forced to surrender to our Captain. The war is won.

What is the war? When Christ died on the Cross, He died a substitutionary death for our sins. This satisfied the wrath of God, as if Christ swallowed all the anger, all the justice, all the punishment.... and all that is left is God's love, mercy, and acceptance into His family. In the Resurrection, Christ ultimately defeated death, so that for all those who die in Christ, they will be resurrected as well on the last day, thus defeating death. And in Christ's dying and rising, He defeated Satan, that old serpent who tried to strike His heel, but Christ crushed his head (Genesis 3:15). Christ has won the war against Satan, sin, death, and has rescued us from our greatest threat: The just wrath of God because of our treason.

What are "battles" against sin? It's the battle at 2am to not look at porn. It's the battle at 12 noon to not have a second portion of french fries because you know it's only for comfort, not for health. It's the battle at 8am against discouragement and apathy, to get out of bed trusting in God's promises. It's the battle of loneliness at 8pm on a Friday night, and seeking comfort from the Lord instead of your favorite sin. These are our battles. We must fight them.

But there are two mindsets for how to fight the battles. Both involve fighting, but one is exhausting and the other is liberating:

1. Thinking that I need to win my battles so that ultimately I can win the war. (This is a Christ-less mindset, it's basically just self-made-religion.)
OR

2. Believing that Christ has already won the war, now I can fight the battles in the confidence of His ultimate victory. 

Here is the truth Christian: Christ has won the larger war. You are merely fighting the small battles. Victory is inevitable.

This mindset gives us enormous courage and hope! This is what sustains us in the battles. We may win some and lose some. That happens. But stay focused on the fact that Christ has already won the war. This will encourage you, and provide you the strength and perseverance to fight the battles.

No Surrender,
The Relentless Fight

Book Review: When I Don't Desire God

John Piper founded Desiring God and served for 33 years as the pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church. He is the author or contributor to more than 50 books (woah!) and has preached thousands of sermons. There are few men who have been more influential in this generation, bringing a BIG vision of the glory of God and stirring hearts to love Christ.

Piper is probably best known for his book Desiring God, the same title as the organization that he founded. Arguing from Scripture and theologians through the ages, the thesis of the book is summarized in, "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him." This simple yet powerful mind-set has changed the lives of so many, igniting a passion in them to find their supreme joy in God and devote themselves to "Christian Hedonism". As folks applied this new perspective, many started approaching John Piper with this type of problem, "I totally agree with everything you said in Desiring God, but here's my problem: I don't. I WANT to love God like you say, like the Bible commands, but I don't. And I'm scared. What do I do?"

That's what prompted Piper to write When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy. This book is being featured here on The Relentless Fight because of how it encourages and equips Christians to make God their treasure, inspiring them to FIGHT the great fight of faith: the fight for JOY in God!

Here's just a few highlights from the book to get you excited. It's worth the read!

• Why does joy in God matter?: First because God commands it (Psalm 100:2, and hundreds of other verses). Second, because nothing proves quicker where someone is at spiritually than focusing on desires. It brings conviction against our preference for God-substitutes. Do you LOVE and treasure Jesus? "Esteeming God less than anything is the essence of evil." (page 34) and Piper draws this from Jeremiah 2:12f.
• Only God can create joy in God: Joy in God is a gift from God. As fallen sinful people, even when we're saved, we cannot MAKE ourselves feel joy in God. It is a supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. But that doesn't leave us off the hook. God has appointed MEANS to cultivate joy. He has given us tools and methods and strategies. 
• The Christian life is WAR: Piper seeks to rouse us from our passive slumber and to take up arms against Satan and our sin, to FIGHT hard against our smaller pleasures so that our highest affections are for Christ alone. "Far too many Christians are passive in their fight for joy.... the central strategy is to preach the gospel to yourself. This is war. Satan is preaching for sure. If we remain passive, we surrender the field to him." (page 81) "Christianity is war. It is a declaration of all-out combat against our own sinful impulses." (page 103) and "The Word of God is the instrument for killing sin." (page 106)
• It's a fight to SEE: We primarily fight to SEE the glory of Jesus in the gospel. That is what awakens joy. Example: You may fight to get up to SEE the sunrise, but you can't fight to MAKE the sunrise make you happy. Joy is a spontaneous gift. But you can fight to put yourself in the God-ordained path of blessing. And then wait for God to give the gift. 
• PRAY for God to give joy: PRAY for God to give you the joy. Many of the prayers in the Psalms assume we are unable to make ourselves satisfied in God. Piper gives four prayers he asks of God when he opens up the Bible, through the acronym IOUS on page 151f. You can listen to a 5-minute explanation of IOUS on an #AskPastorJohn episode titled I'm Bored With The Bible.
• Tons of practical tips: Piper gives a boatload of practical tips for engaging our heart and fueling our passion for God. His highest recommendation is simply prayer and Scripture. He highlights making a PLAN to read the Bible (page 116), and taking it to the next level through memorizing it, journaling your thoughts on it, and meditating (chapter 8). He recommends solid books on doctrine. He stresses the importance of being committed to a local church (page 130ff) and the encouragement found in reading Christian biography. You can fight for joy through music, art, the commonplace, bodily health, suffering, exercise, and rest (chapter 11). Food & sex are occasions for gratitude to the Giver through the Word of God and prayer (1 Timothy 4:4f). Choosing to thank God may even cause our hearts to be moved to gratitude (for more on this, see the TRF post Fighting for Gratitude).
• Fight in community: "The fight for joy is a battle to be fought alongside comrades. We do not fight alone. To be a Christian is to be a part of the Body of Christ. We are meant to help each other fight for joy." (page 173). For more, see the TRF post Brothers in Arms. 

In summary, every one of us should be loving and treasuring God more than we already are. He is worthy of our highest affection! Piper's book will spur you on to pursue God and will give you practical strategies to fight for joy in Him. You can get the FREE pdf of When I Don't Desire God here, or purchase a hard copy from Amazon. But if you prefer watching instead of reading, you can watch online (for free!) Piper himself teaching a conference on When I Don't Desire God. Or you can buy the DVD.

Fighting for joy,
The Relentless Fight

Brothers in Arms

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed." - James 5:16

This life is hard. Even though we're saved from the penalty of sin, we still await Jesus' return when we will be finally free from the presence of sin in our heart and lives. Until then we fight and make war against our sin. But you don't have to fight alone. 

One of the greatest weapons God has given us in the fight against sin is each other. We were never meant to be on our own in the fight! Someone once said "There's a reason why God saved a bunch of us" - we were meant to have brothers and sisters to walk alongside us, to help us in the fight against sin, to encourage and strengthen us in our weakness, and to remind us of the gospel.

The Scripture is chock-full of exhortations to be in community in the fight against sin:

• Galatians 6:1-2 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
• Hebrews 3:12-14 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

This is war. You cannot do it by yourself: the enemy is too strong, and you have blind spots. You are weak by yourself, but there is strength in numbers. God has given you brothers in arms! You are not alone in the trenches, you have fellow soldiers who are going through the same temptations and struggles you are. Open your eyes and call out for help! Advance on the enemy together, like the Spartans in the movie 300: locked shield to shield, an impenetrable force operating as a single unit. 

What does this look like practically? Consider these applications:

• Seek Out Brothers: Get involved in a deep community of folks who together are pursuing holiness and maturity in Christ. If you don't have this, GET THIS. You may have to be intentional, even pioneering, and CREATE this community. Share with a brother about your struggle with porn. Share with a sister about your struggle with cutting. Share with a small group about your struggle with anger. Reach out and come into the light (1 John 1:9) there is such freedom in being open! Likewise there is real danger in being a Lone Ranger, so don't go it alone or you'll be a sitting duck. And don't just seek out brothers once in some big display of repentance, but seek out brothers often, maybe even DAILY as you fight temptation and face failure. 
• Practice Radical Confession and Accountability: What happens when you fail? James 5:16 says we should confess our sins to one another and PRAY for each other so that we can be healed. Confession is not just done to God, but to our brothers. Our sin is made public! Sin thrives in secret, but if we drag it out into the light it loses its power. Confess your sin! Betray it, don't protect it any more in the darkness! And then get accountability. Have brothers followup with you about it, ask them to pray for you every week. Share with them your battlefield of when and where you're most tempted. Ask them to ask YOU about it.Tell them that they have permanent free access to bring up this topic with you every week. Richard Baxter writes, "If less means prevail not, open thy case to some able, faithful friend, and engage them to watch over thee; and tell them when thou art most endangered by the temptation. This will shame thee from the sin, and lay more engagements on thee to forbear it...It would be hard for thee to sin thus if it were but opened."
• Help Others: Realize this, friend: you are not the only one struggling! Open your eyes to the hurting people around you. They're in the trenches of sin, fighting with all they can, but they're discouraged and tired and lonely JUST LIKE YOU. Reach out to them, ask them how they're doing, and PRAY with them. You will be surprised how encouraging it is to YOU and how much new strength comes into YOUR fight as you pour out into others to help them in THEIR fight. Text someone! Grab a lunch! These are your brothers around you, they need your encouragement and accountability. 

Strength in numbers,

The Relentless Fight