Monday, November 4, 2013

The Armory


"with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left" - 2 Corinthians 6:7

Do you want some solid weapons for the fight against sexual sin? Welcome to The Armory.

Scriptures on Sexuality: Nothing is as solid as the WORD of God. Get in the Bible to see God's heart and plan for sexuality. 
  • Genesis 1-3
  • Psalm 51
  • Proverbs 1-7
  • Song of Solomon
  • Matt 5:27-30
  • 1 Corinthians 5-7
  • Ephesians 5
  • 1 Thess 4:1-11
  • 1 Timothy 5:2
  • Hebrews 13:4

 Recommended Books: Solid resources for the fight, spend the time pouring over these. 

 Helpful websites: There are TONS of resources, articles, books, sermons, and video content on these websites. Bookmark them. 

 YouTube songs and clips that will get you pumped: Watch them.

 Internet Software and Tools: There are several methods for fighting for sexual purity online. Some programs block porn, others log your activity and send it to an accountability partner. No filter is perfect, but it's a helpful "speed bump" to slow you down and help to give time for conviction and repentance. 
  • Covenant Eyes: A paid subscription filter software. 
  • Acccountable2You: A paid subscription filter and instant alert system, able to be installed on ALL devices: mobile, tablet, desktop, laptop. 
  • Adblock Plus: removes ads on your web browser, like on the side board of Facebook. 
  • OpenDNS: filters all your web traffic on your wireless router. Highly recommended!
  • If you have an iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch: You will need to disable Safari and use the custom apps in order for the filtering to happen. Alternately, you can use the built-in adult website filtering for Safari by going to Settings>General>Restrictions>Websites>Limit Adult Content.
  • Note that if you know the password for these filters, obviously you can shut it down and get around it.  That defeats the purpose. So consider having a close friend know the password, or if an apartment has OpenDNS on their wireless router, have 2 roommates know half the password each! 

 Top shelf sermons: There are so many out there, but here's just a few of the best. Listen to them. 

Hopefully this list is helpful to YOU. But think... who ELSE might benefit from it? Share this Armory with them! Maybe pick a book together with a group of friends who are struggling and read it together. Listen to a sermon and post it on social media. Start a Bible study with some friends on what the Bible says about sex. The resources are there. Now it's YOUR turn.

ANTHEM,
The Relentless Fight
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Monday, October 14, 2013

Make No Provision for the Flesh

"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires." - Romans 13:14

Do you sometimes wonder why your struggle with sin is so strong? Are you at a loss as to where your temptations are coming from? Does the fight just seem to hit you when you're weakest?

The solution to our sin is always the gospel, because no matter how many strategies we learn we are never strong enough to fight on our own. But in Christ we are new creations, and by the Holy Spirit we can fight our sin with the MANY strategies He has given us! One insight that could help turn the tide for you is beginning to see where you are making provision for sin. Sin doesn't just "happen" with no context. For our repeated struggles there is a complex structure of causes: a supply-chain. So the question becomes: Where is your supply chain? And how can you rain down destruction and interrupt that system?

We are not ignorant of Satan's schemes (2 Cor 2:11), so we can aptly prepare for those dangerous killzones. WHEN will you be tempted? Prepare yourself for those times, maybe text some friends for accountability and ask them to check in during that time. WHERE will you be tempted? Is there a particular space that often is harder? Prepare for that time, remove opportunity for temptation. Avoid situations before you even get in them. This requires wisdom.

Ask yourself: HOW are you providing for your flesh? How are you giving opportunity and creating a space for your sin to thrive? Every little bit adds up. Maybe you don't yet feel convicted by your sin because "Well, it's not TOO bad" and you're just feeding it in little ways each day. But those little things add up, and they do damage to your soul. You're making provision. You're outfitting your sin to be stronger. It's like giving them little snacks that sustain their life. We need to be starving out our sin. 

Romans 13:14 calls us to do TWO things: To remove the opportunities for the flesh, and to put on Christ instead. Basically it's the Bible's call of put off/put on.

Just get rid of things. It isn't worth it.
  • Romance books causing you to be discontent and fantasize? Throw them out. 
  • Xbox giving opportunity for escapism through video games instead of finding comfort in the Lord? Take a fast for a season and give your power cord to a friend. 
  • Struggling with internet pornography? Get a filter, and get some accountability, or simply remove your laptop, smartphone, tablets from your room altogether and give them to your roommate for the evening. 
  • Tempted to go towards food as comfort instead of the Lord? Throw out Ben & Jerry's from your fridge, and ask your roommates to keep you accountable. 

 Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ. It IS worth it.
  • Schedule a time to get in the Word each day. If you don't feel like it, just force feed yourself the Word. Spend regular time in prayer. Create a supply chain for Jesus. 
  • Write reminders of Jesus and His promises. Write them on sticky notes, or your iPhone reminders app, or your mirror, or your desktop wallpaper, or posters around your room. Speak them to yourself. 
  • Commit yourself to regular church involvement. Not just every Sunday but connecting relationally to other church members so they can encourage and exhort you. Invite folks into your life. Hear truth preached from the Bible each week. Get involved in a deeper small group Bible study. Make provision for TRUTH and the work of the Holy Spirit. 
Just as every little bit of sin adds up in making provision for the flesh, so every little bit of putting on Christ adds up to make provision for the Holy Spirit. Do not grow weary! Endure in repentance. 

Fighting the supply chain,
The Relentless Fight
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Monday, October 7, 2013

Now You Have Two Problems

"O Lord, the hope of Israel, all who forsake you shall be put to shame" - Jeremiah 17:13

Have you ever been in this scenario? Your day is going pretty well, but then something comes up that discourages you, maybe a difficult conversation, or a bad grade on a paper. Maybe you're stressed because you realize you're late on an assignment or have failed a commitment. Perhaps you're just bored, angry, lonely, or in deep pain. And instead of turning to the Lord, you turn to your favorite idol. It promises comfort, distraction, pleasure, life... and you believe it, and you drink deeply.

But it betrays you! It promised comfort but it only lasted for a few minutes... and now you feel guilt for your sin against God, shame for the dark things you've given in to, distance from God because you've rejected Him, anger for ANOTHER failure, more discouragement as you fear you'll never change, AND you've opened yourself up to Satan's accusations and torture as he mocks you.

Crap! Now you have two problems. The initial one, and now the junk of your wrong response. In Jeremiah 2:13 God says, "for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." This is what happens. We have our first original problem that has us thirsty, but instead of turning to the Fountain of Living Waters, we've turned to a broken cistern, and self-medicated with porn, cutting, food, anger, video games or procrastination. It's about as dumb as dealing with a breakup by getting drunk and fighting people. In the morning you still have a busted relationship, AND you have a busted face. Now you have two problems.

See, this is what our sin does to us! And this is how we respond to life when we try to be our own saviors. We just end up making it worse, like little children who have spilled a bucket of paint but now are trying to clean it up themselves. It just gets more messy.

Thankfully, God has provided a solution in the gospel! Your sinful second response is paid for by the blood of Christ. And the gospel ALSO fixes whatever your first problem was. It's a double-barrel shotgun, blowing away two-for-one, simple as that. Jesus forgives the guilt and cleanses the shame of your sinful response (the second problem) AND provides the resources to resolve whatever your first problem was. Such great news!

So what does this look like practically?
  1. Confess and repent for the second problem (the sinful response): Turn to the Lord, and admit that you screwed up. Admit that you can't save yourself, and when you try to... THIS is what happens. Ask for His forgiveness, and REMEMBER the gospel: God has forgiven you in Christ, God has made you a new creation, God has wiped your slate clean, and you are LOVED. He doesn't hold anything against you!
  2. Turn to the Lord for the first problem: Now think back to whatever the first problem was...  Pain? Anxiety? Loneliness? Sadness? How can you turn to the Lord in this? Perhaps there is no easy solution but simply a call to wait for the Lord and be patient (Psalm 27:14). Or maybe just cry and process with the Lord as He draws near to your broken heart (Psalm 34:18). Maybe there's some comfort that you can draw from His promises, like Philippians 4:6-7, or Isaiah 41:10. Pour out your heart to HIM, and drink deeply from His Word. 
  3. Praise God for His grace! Finally, make sure to set your heart right by THANKING God for His grace and goodness for BOTH problems. He doesn't reject you for rejecting Him. And He doesn't leave you to drown in your suffering. He is loving, caring, and meets us in our junk with HIS clean up strategy.
Fighting both problems with the Gospel,
The Relentless Fight
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Monday, September 23, 2013

Book Review: #GetOpen

Craig Gross is the founder of XXXchurch.com, and has been helping folks find healing from sexual sin for over 10 years. In July 2013 he published Open: What Happens When You Get Real, Get Honest, and Get Accountable.

Open is being highlighted here on The Relentless Fight because of its challenging call to radical honesty, and how it equips people with strategies for accountability. Battling sin with brothers and sisters by your side is vital in the fight, and this book tells you how to do it.

Craig Gross is a Christian and has written other books that even have Jesus in the title, however in this book Craig does not mention Jesus or explicitly build his case from Scripture. The strategies are biblical and helpful, but only AFTER you build on the foundation and power of the gospel. The motto of The Relentless Fight is to "Remember the gospel and keep fighting", and this book is an excellent resource for the "keep fighting" part by providing tactics and best practices for accountability relationships, either one-to-one or in groups.

Hopefully nonChristians will read the book and be motivated to become open with others, and strive to fight their sin. But at the end of the day, without the foundation of the gospel, there is no problem OR remedy. Without a biblical worldview, there's no problem: why should anyone STOP looking at porn or lying on their taxes or stop their unhealthy eating habits? Why introduce this time-intensive structure of accountability? Why change at all? And without the gospel, there's no remedy: our best efforts are based on OUR own strength and will quickly fail us. John Owen had incredible insight into this; he said we should by all means seek to restrain sin in unbelievers, but that it should NOT be our MAIN end for them, but rather first conversion. Owen writes, "Let men know it is their duty, but in its proper place; I take not men from mortification, but put them upon conversion. He that shall call a man from mending a hole in the wall of his house, to quench a fire that is consuming the whole building, is not his enemy. Poor soul! ...You set yourself against a particular sin and do not consider that you are nothing but sin." (Of The Mortification of Sin in Believers, page 85 in the edition Overcoming Sin & Temptation)

Once you have the biblical foundation of conviction that you need to change (that your behavior is sin), AND the biblical remedy of the gospel (that you're a new creation in Christ), one of the best weapons in the fight is to be OPEN with a few close friends who can help you in the relentless fight. Open is recommended as a great resource for strategy AFTER and BECAUSE OF the foundation of the gospel to fight our sin. You can buy the book here.

Remember the Gospel, and #GetOpen,
The Relentless Fight

PS: For more reading on being honest about our sin check out Don't Conceal...Confess And Forsake. And for getting help from others read Brothers in Arms.
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Monday, August 26, 2013

Grasping for Hope

Please welcome guest author Melissa Dorrance! Melissa works on staff for DiscipleMakers and has a passion for seeing others grow in their knowledge and love of Jesus Christ. She also loves sunshine, breakfast, and silliness. For anyone who is weary in the fight and in need of some encouragement, this post is for you. 
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“He has caused us to be born again into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…” (1 Peter 1:3)

Sometimes it’s hard to hope.  You are stuck in your sin, you are drowning in life’s circumstances, or maybe you are just weary of fighting the same battle day in and day out.  The absence of hope is draining: it leads to exhaustion, anger, guilt, despair, and giving up the fight.  Satan seems to have won.

NOT TRUE! The battle is not over, Satan has NOT won, and you should not give up!  We have a hope to hold onto in the midst of the longest, bloodiest battles.  1 Peter 1:3-4 reminds us that we have a LIVING HOPE in Jesus Christ.  This is not a hope that is merely “personified” into an animate idea, but He, Jesus, our Hope, is actually a living, breathing real person.

Jesus as a Living Hope:
  1. Death could not bring Him down.  No matter how deep your sin seems to run, no matter how much suffering you are experiencing, you can bank on the fact that it is NOT bigger or stronger than Jesus.  If you put your faith in Him, you have hope because He will win. He is alive.
  2. It’s not just that you hope in Him, but your hope is Him. Your Hope went to a cross for you and for your hopeless times so that you would NEVER have to be without Him. And now He promises to live in you through His Spirit.  Radical.  You actually have an embodiment of hope with you always to strengthen and encourage you.
  3. Because hope takes the form of Jesus Christ we don’t have to wait for salvation, it is already here. Grasp the hope that is ready for the taking.
God’s Word is full of reminders that we have this hope.  It is filled with promises that should spur us on and remind us of the hope that we always have.  Read them, mediate on them, say them out loud to yourself and then REBUKE Satan and your own flesh (out loud!).  These hope-filled promises are in the Bible for a reason; they are there because they are deeply true. They are testified to from One who is our Living Hope.  Here are just a few:

1 Peter 1:4 “You have an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.” You cannot mess it up.

Philippians 2:13 “It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” God has not abandoned you and is still at work!

Ephesians 3:20 “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” You cannot even imagine the works God is doing in your heart and in your life.  Jesus outdoes your very dreams.

Joel 2:25 “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.” What has been lost will be redeemed. 

Jeremiah 29:13-14 “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD.” God is not playing hide-and-go-seek.  He has not abandoned you.  He is there and available.

Have hope!  Jesus is alive; the promises for redemption are not just far away dreams, but immediate realities that can happen in the midst of raging battles. Jesus’ resurrection authenticates the real, tangible truths of the Bible that we can hold onto when despair creeps in.

It is not easy to always choose hope, but if we believe in Jesus it is what we are called to do and it is a gift we receive.  When despair creeps in, cling to your Hope and His promises.  You may not always believe the promises for redemption are true, but you can KNOW that the author of them is true.  And because the author is true and living it means there MUST BE hope and thus that the promises are real.  Sin is being defeated and victory is imminent.

The hope Jesus bought on the cross covers all sin and redeems all brokenness.  He is our hope for today, tomorrow, and eternity.  Drop whatever else you try to put hope in.  People: dead or dying. Money: not a living thing.  Other prophets: dead.  Jesus: ALIVE!

Painfully hoping,
Melissa
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Monday, August 5, 2013

Sing the Triumph of His Grace

Please welcome guest author Mark Fodale! Mark works on staff for DiscipleMakers, has a passion to see college students be transformed by the gospel, is a godly husband and father of four, and blogs at The Lion Unleashed. Enjoy his seasoned insight, and may it encourage you in your remembrance of the gospel and fight against sin!
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"True Christianity isn't primarily a matter of control; primarily it's overflowing fullness. That is the triumph of grace". - Raymond Ortlund, Jr.

We've all faced it, haven't we?

In the midst of the fight for holiness, we fail. Often miserably. Indeed, Jesus spoke truly when He said, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is so weak." (Mark 14.38).

And so, I fail. And then ... a disturbing pattern sets in. Its almost like clockwork. At first I am convicted by my sin, saddened by my weakness. And at that moment of sorrow, a familiar "friend" enters the scene - guilt. And that frequent companion whispers to me words of condemnation, "You call yourself a Christian?", and despair, "Things will never ever change."

Yes, its an all-too-familiar pattern.

And, in response, I typically have four reactions:

    1. I spiral downward, weighed down not only by my sin, but also by the guilt & despair over that sin;
    2. I focus inward, kicking and chastising myself for being a failure;
    3. I rest on self-discipline. That is, I promise myself I'll never do it again. I diligently think through structures and disciplines to curb my appetites and passions.
    4. And then I wait ... for the next time I fail.

Sound familiar?

Centuries ago, the prophet Isaiah pointed God's people beyond the false savior of their own guilt and discipline to the true salvation of God Himself.

You will say in that day:
“I will give thanks to you, O Lord,
    for though you were angry with me,
your anger turned away,
    that you might comfort me.

 “Behold, God is my salvation;
    I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the Lord God is my strength and my song,
    and he has become my salvation.”
- Isaiah 12.1-2

Could it be true?

Isaiah describes an amazing moment - as sin crushes us, as God's righteous anger is known, we can turn to Him with ... thanksgiving! We can rest on Him as our strength and our song! No longer do we need to sing the song of our failures. No longer do we need to feed the tune of our guilt. But we can trust that God knows us, we can rest that He has chosen us, and we can rejoice that He has rescued and redeemed us through Jesus.

That is the triumph of grace!

We do not need to make our sin all about ... us. We do not need to make our sanctification all about ... us. We are freed from the tyranny of self-loathing, self-discipline, and self-doubt.

Instead we can turn to Christ once again, knowing that He came to save sinners.

When we consider the grace of God rescuing us from ourselves, paying the penalty for all of our sins, restoring to us what we have messed up, and giving us far better than all we could ever ask or imagine, we will say with the apostle Paul, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8.31)

So, as you sin, turn to Jesus. Rejoice that He came for such a moment as this. Rest on Him by faith, knowing that forgiveness is yours. And ask Him to use even this moment to make you more like Him.

Repent? Absolutely. But let your repentance lead you to Jesus. Sing of the triumph of His grace.

"No duty is more pressed in the Bible than this, of rejoicing in the Lord always. It is no less a sin not to rejoice than not to repent." - John Trapp
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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Expect a Hard Long Bloody Fight

"Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." - Hebrews 12:3-4

In the fight against sin, what do you expect? This is a vitally important question to answer, because our expectations influence our attitude and response in the midst of the fight.

It's common in the Christian life to expect our fight against sin to be easy. We can think, "Great! All I need to do is repent once in a big display of vulnerability and contrition, have God wave His magic wand over my struggles with porn, drugs, cutting, food, depression, anger, impatience, selfishness, and BOOM... healed! Just quick, easy, clean, once-and-done healing. Sweet deal!"

When this is our expectation, it sets up a very dangerous scenario. As soon as the fight takes longer than we expect, or is harder, or we fail, our world crumbles. We lash out at God. "What the heck God!? I thought you were a good Savior? I thought you were going to help me? WHERE ARE YOU? Why do I feel even WORSE than I did before?" And as the fight drags on, and more failures happen, we begin to grow radically bitter, jaded, and cynical. We begin to forget the gospel, we mistrust God, we become discouraged, and we eventually stop fighting altogether.

What if we had a different expectation? Expect the fight to be:
  • HARD, Not Easy: The fight will be hard. Up until this point in your life, you've just coddled and nurtured and aided your sin. But when the Holy Spirit stepped in, your heart was transformed. You were given NEW desires, because you became a NEW creation in Christ. For the first time, you truly FOUGHT against your sin. You went from peacetime to a state of war. This makes life harder than it was before. It means the fight has STARTED for the first time. It's going to be HARD with many painful decisions to cut off your hand, gouge out your eye (Matthew 5:29), repent in radical painful ways. It will cost something. To make it, you will need to be strengthened, and properly equipped for the battle. You will need to train yourself, develop strategies, and enlist help from others. Sober up!! This is brutal. It is no cake walk. John Owen said it well of constant violence, "Always be killing sin, or sin will be killing you."
  • LONG, Not Short: The fight will be long. In God's sovereign wisdom, most of the time He allows you to wrestle with a besetting sin for longer than you would prefer. When you realize this difficult truth, you will have a decision to make, if you are going to scrap it and ditch God, or choose to rest in HIS forgiveness amidst your horrible performance. This is radically humbling. The fight will not be over in a few weeks after some 30-day Bible study program. Don't expect change overnight, or even over a year. Growth is best measured in decades, not days. It could take the rest of your life. How will you survive?? You will need the perseverance and endurance that only the Gospel can bring. That is the larger war that you're fighting, to remember and believe the gospel. Only the Cross of Christ provides the kind of empowerment that you need to make it long-term. 
  • BLOODY, Not Clean: The fight will be bloody. There will be failures. There will be compromises, betrayals, times when everything in you screams for your sinful idol to be gratified, AND YOU WILL CAVE. Expect this. Expect failure. If you expect it, you won't freak out when you find yourself slurping up the broken cistern toilet water that you vowed never to drink from again. This is pretty normal. Newsflash: You're a sinner, and you can't save yourself. That's the whole point of why Christ HAD to come to save sinners. We could NOT save ourselves. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much self-discipline you muster up, no matter how much you HATE failing, you WILL sin, you will fall, and it'll be YOUR blood on the ground. How can we make it?? You will need the encouragement of the gospel RIGHT AFTER the failure. You will need to stop going it alone, and gather brothers and sisters around you who can point you to Jesus. 
We MUST expect the fight to be hard, long, and bloody. If you have the wrong expectations, you will wind up dead, real quick. Have the proper expectations, and even when things get hard you will be even MORE encouraged. When someone tells you an experience will be hard before you get into it, somehow it becomes easier, because it's helpful to have a proper expectation. It validates your feelings of frustration and difficulty, and it assures you that you’re not crazy. It centers you and gives you a balanced mind. And it sobers you up to get hunkered down for a long-term fight. Get serious! Get sober! This is not gonna be a cake-walk to fight against your sin. Change your expectations!!

Consider three short applications out of this changed expectation:
  • Be Encouraged!: Is the fight hard? GOOD, that means you're fighting! Take that as a GOOD sign that you are nearing the enemy stronghold, you are gaining ground.True growth means a harder fight. The ONLY kind of growth is filled with bloodshed and pain. Victory is costly. You will strive and struggle for every INCH of gained ground in the fight of the Spirit vs. the Flesh. When it's hard, that means you're winning. 
  • Remember the Gospel: What is the gospel? Hard, long, and bloody. So be encouraged! Your Savior Warrior King is fighting alongside you. This is the kind of fight that HE is best at, the kind of fight that He knows. Dig in for a long term fight. Remember that the Cross is for failures, and it all depends on Christ, who has already won. When you remember the gospel, that means you're winning. 
  • Get Back in the Fight: You know what to do. What is just ONE next step you can take to deliver a shocking blow to the enemy? Take a deep breath, call on The God of Angel Armies, and keep fighting until He calls you home. Keep fighting. You're winning. 
Expecting Victory,
The Relentless Fight
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